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Parenting Advice - How to Raise Respectful Kids

By Jean Tracy, MSS

Are your children raising you? Is your vision short-sighted when drawing the line between respect and misbehavior? Would you like to be a kind and effective parent? Let's discuss how you can do just that.

Building character in misbehaving kids takes mental eyesight. Find out the biggest mistake blinding parents today and how to turn challenging kids into respectful children.

Parenting Advice - building character in kids takes mental eyesight

When 5-year-old Suzy asked her mom, "Can kids cook?" She answered, "Yes, with supervision." Suzy thought for a moment and said, "I want to cook. Do I need glasses?" Today you'll see that raising children with character doesn't require glasses but it does require "super vision."

Parenting Advice - 3 styles of "super vision" all parents need for raising children with character:

Vision that understands your role as parent
When little Harry yells, "I hate you," it's disturbing but only if you let it. Avoid taking his rants and his raves personally. Deal with Harry's disrespect firmly.

Vision that sees with your mind as well as your eyes
Steven's sassing, Heidi's hitting, and Bobby's blaming are difficult to take when juggling work and family life. Yet they need to be seen as disrespect and handled with firmness.

Vision that grasps the long term results of your present actions
Yelling at Layla for not doing her chores and then doing them for her teaches Layla to be lazy and disrespect your rules. Insist with firmness that she do them. This is vital to her future well-being and your self-respect as a parent.

Parenting Advice - what every parent needs to remember:

You aren't born knowing how to raise your children with character. You can learn. Educator Marilyn Wiltz advises, "Remember you are the parent." You are the counselor, the guide, and the leader for your kids. It is important to create a strong calm inner sense that you are the parent and you are in control. Your kids will feel your inner strength if you feel it too.

Parenting Advice - avoid making the mistake many parents make:

The biggest mistake is to fail to draw the line. When you argue, negotiate, and plead with Barbara to stop her tantrum, you put Barbara in charge. When you discipline Andy and then apologize, you put Andy in charge. When you tell Tommy you're not going to buy the toy and then buy it for him anyway, you put Tommy in charge. Draw the line and put yourself in charge. Always remember you are the parent. Your child will respect you for it.

Parenting Advice- self-talk for parents who deal with disrespectful kids:

When your Sarah is screaming at the top of her lungs, stop saying, "This behavior is my fault. I'm not a good parent." Start saying, "This is Sarah's problem. How can I help her?"

Parenting takes firm "super vision," remembering you are the parent, and drawing the line. When your children are disrespectful, stop the arguing, stop the yelling, and get your kids to take responsibility for their own behavior. You'll be raising respectful children and building character too.

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