Being a kind and loving parent is like serving your family milk and cookies. If you notice the good in your family members and tell them honestly and specifically, you will be setting the table for raising youngsters with caring hearts.

Today, we'll discuss the Ripple Effect, see how being a bitter critic hurts rather than helps, share how to build a healthy family identity, and we'll offer an activity that fosters the kind of self-esteem that helps kids care about others.

Parents cause ripples with their words and actions. When children hear adults frequently restate compliments or "put-downs," their brains waves recite them as personal beliefs. The next time they do something nice or not so nice; the resulting ripples can turn into good or bad feelings about themselves.

A parent can become a critical judge when he feels tired, cranky, and frustrated. If a child hears the ripples of criticism often enough, he'll begin to believe that's who he is.

When he believes the words, he may even act on them, thinking. "If you say I'm bad, I'll show you how bad I can be." Here are some examples that become a child's inner self-talk when a critical parent utters them enough:

Developing thoughtfulness in children isn't difficult. If you have a loving home life, you are providing a strong foundation for your offspring. If you model sympathy, compassion, and caring, you become a powerful influence for your youngsters' behavior.

Here is a family activity for growing solid roots because it promotes a positive group identity. Ask your children, "What do you want our family to be like?" Invite examples by saying, "What would we be doing to show we are like this? This list of qualities can spice up the discussion. 5 or 6 qualities are enough.

Parents, who are open-minded and care about people in and outside the family, help their youngsters develop healthy thoughts and feelings toward others. Here's a weekly practice to promote kindness in your kids.

Once a week each family member puts his name in small box and places it in the middle of the dinner table. Each member picks a name and thinks about a character trait they noticed in that person during the past week.

The Giver tells the person with the name she picked what quality and behavior she noticed. Parents can help the younger children with a character trait and an example.

The Receiver says, "Thank you."

The Ripple Effect begins with a parent's words and actions. It can expand children's character to be positive, strong, and caring or it can weaken them to become negative, hurt, and self-absorbed.