If you love your child more than you dislike your ex, you won't be bad-mouthing his other parent. Today we'll discuss two divorce problems from your youngster's point of view. We'll also offer 7 child reactions to divorce, a divorce checklist, as well as, 15 ways to love and help your child.
Imagine a child named Lucas. His angry parents are divorced. When his mother drops him off at his dad's house, he's greeted by his step-mother. From the look on her face he gets the feeling that she wishes he hadn't come. His dad is outside playing catch with his older step-brother. Lucas doesn't know what to do.
He decides to go outside and say, "Hi." They keep on playing catch. Lucas notices that his step-brother's mitt is brand new. His dad says, "Oh, is this the day you visit?"
Let's say Lucas feels the weight of his mother's dislike for his dad and especially his new wife. She repeatedly tells Lucas how his dad spends money on his step-son and new wife but fails to pay alimony on time. If you were Lucas,
There are many stories much worse than Lucas' situation. The thing to remember is that your children have their own thoughts and feelings. They are not robots.
I remember a father who left his wife and kids to live with his best friend's wife. He came into my counseling office one day angrily announcing, "Kids are flexible! I'm going to show them what a real relationship is like."
Unfortunately for him, his kids weren't flexible because they wanted nothing to do with him and his new girlfriend. They didn't want to see how his good relationship worked. They didn't forgive him for walking out on them. Again, children are not robots. They have feelings.
These are not the only reactions to divorce that children experience. Responses can be quite different, especially for children in highly abusive families. They might feel relieved.
Of course, there are many more behaviors that divorced parents who love their children must avoid. Those that were mentioned are the common ones.
Let's see what positive behaviors parents who love their children more than they hate their ex-spouse can do.
Divorce alone is painful for children. When parents pile their misery on their child, they increase the pain. Children need mature parents who love them. Parents need to notice their child's reactions to the divorce, avoid the 10 big mistakes, and practice the 15 behaviors that help their children adjust to the divorce. It's not easy but it CAN be done.
Ninety percent of children, whose parents are divorcing, experience some problems like, a decline in school performance, a loss of interest in friends and hobbies, sleep difficulties, and somatic complaints such as headaches, stomach aches and fatigue.
Because many children struggle with divorce, it's essential to provide them with coping strategies. This kindle book prepares them for the big changes that divorce brings -- living in two homes, a blended family, and dealing with loneliness, self-blame and anger.
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