Self-pity thoughts are like little monsters that sneak into our brains and bring us down. If your child indulges in such thoughts, you can help her change. Today, you'll find a story, 5 signs of self-pity, two activities, and a self-pity poem, "Self-Pity Isn't Pretty."
In the end you'll also find a video with self-pity solutions
Eight-year-old Sandra's best friend moved away. While walking home alone, Sandra asks aloud, "Why did Linda move away? Will she ever come back? I'll never see her again."
The monster trolls are creeping into her thoughts.
"She'll forget about me. I don't have anyone to play with. I'm all alone." Tears roll down Sandy's face.
Sandra's story demonstrates the self-pity process. First, our minds latch onto a painful event. Then we allow the "poor me" thoughts to flow. Self-pity takes us deep inside, weakens our spirit, and attacks our resilience. It holds us captive. We might even cry.
It may be hard for you to believe, but there is a self-soothing pleasure in feeling sorry for ourselves. It comforts us.
"Self-pity in its early stage is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable." – Maya Angelou
"But doesn't Sandra have a right to her thoughts and feelings?" you ask. After all, her friend moved away. Certainly! You'll find out how to help her in a moment. But first, what are some signals that your child's negative thinking is causing pain?
When everyday disappointments, difficult challenges, and misunderstandings occur, it's easy to feel self-pity.
It's okay to feel badly for a while but not forever.
Feeling upset early on makes sense. Increasing pain by purposely recycling hurtful thoughts doesn't.
She'll probably feel understood and trust you even more.
At another time and as a lead in, tell her about an incident in which self-pity hurt you. Then, if it feels right, talk about your earlier discussion with her when you sensed her self-pity. Discuss how recycling miserable thoughts can feel good at the time but how it can hurt you in the long run. Find out what she thinks. Then share these activities:
Advise her to use this activity as often as she needs it.
Read and consider memorizing this poem together. Ask her to draw it and post her drawing in her room as a reminder.
Self-Pity Isn't Pretty
Just because it feels snugly
Doesn't mean it isn't ugly.
It's a monster that controls
Like 10,000 nasty trolls.
If it sneaks into my brain,
I'll yell, "STOP! You're such a pain!"
I detest each "poor me" ditty.
Cuz self-pity isn't pretty!
Some self-pity is okay,
But please don't let it stay.
You CAN make it go away.
POOF!
Choose to rise above self-pity,
With a CAN DO mind that's pretty.
Self-Pity is a habit that fills your children with painful thoughts and feelings. The more they're recycled the stronger the negativity becomes, weakening their spirits, and attacking their resilience.
To conquer this consuming habit, discuss, listen, and empathize. Teach the "Daydream" activity. Memorize, draw, and post the poem, "Self Pity Isn't Pretty." If you do, your child will understand why self-pity is a monster and how to overcome it. You'll be building character too.
Do you have a whiner in your house? When you're at your busiest, does the whining increase? Perhaps you've listened, made suggestions, or even shouted, "Go away! Leave me alone!"
Turn your whiners into winners. Now you can teach them how an effective life really works. Use the Thought-Stopping Kit to help them change their focus.
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