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3 Parenting Solutions for Beating Stress Not Kids

By Jean Tracy, MSS

Parents are your kids stressful? Do they leave messes, fight with each other, or sass you? Try these 3 parenting solutions when your kids tempt you to explode.

First Stressful Problem:

When Joey leaves another mess from his daily snacks, don't pull your hair out. Don't blow up. Lengthen your fuse. Keep your yelling to yourself. Be as rational as you can be.

The Magic Question to Ask Yourself:

‘What can I do to teach Joey a lesson and give myself some time to unwind?'

Your Action Step:

Tell Joey, "Clean up your mess now!" Then say, "To help you remember to clean up after snacks, you'll need to clean the kitchen for the next 3 nights." Don't respond to Joey's grumbling.

Your First Stress Free Solution:

Each night while Joey cleans the kitchen, read a chapter in a book, the newspaper, or a magazine. Turn his clean up time into your relaxing time.

Second Stressful Problem:

Your kids are fighting. You hear them yell, "Mom!" and think, ‘Oh no, not again.' Don't stumble into their quicksand of endless arguing. Don't take sides either. Mentally step aside.

The Magic Question to Ask Yourself:

‘How can I stop their arguing and relax myself?'

Your Action Step:

Send them to Time Out for 10 minutes. Tell them, "Think up 3 ways you could solve your problem." Use a timer.

Your Second Stress Free Solution:

While the kids are in Time Out, turn off the phone, close your eyes, and sink into a relaxed state for 10 minutes.

When the 10 minutes are up, tell the children, "Come and share your share solutions." After sharing say, "I knew you could solve your problems."

Third Stressful Problem:

You blow up when Debbie sasses, calls you names, and yells, "I hate you!" Her verbal bullets always hit their target. Don't go nuclear. Stop yourself.

The Magic Question to Ask Yourself:

‘How can I get away from Debbie at this moment and relieve my stress?'

Your Action Step:

Surprise Debbie and say, "Wait here!"

Your Third Stress Free Solution:

Lock your bedroom door. March over to your pillow. Mentally put the stress from Debbie's outburst on the pillow. Punch it 10 times with all your strength. Feel the stress slip away. Next take 10 deep breaths and relax.

When you're ready, leave the bedroom. Tell Debbie, "I'll talk to you later when I have more time to think."

Conclusion for 3 Parenting Solutions for Beating Stress not Kids:

Being a parent rarely matches the dream we had before children. All kids are different. Some are more stressful than others. If you have kids who tempt you to blow your top, you must get a hold of yourself. Be tricky in the best sense. Ask yourself, ‘How can I relieve this stress and relax?' This might mean putting them in Time Out, hitting a pillow, sinking into a relaxed state, or reading something you enjoy.

Believe it or not, your kids will respect you. Why? Because you took charge. You acted like the parent. They got what they deserved and you relaxed.

From now on don't let stress overwhelm you. Turn off the pressure. Turn on the relaxation. You can beat stress.

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Feel free to use this article when you include this resource box.

I invite you to pick up 41 specific solutions for 41 common behaviors in our Discipline Tips for Parents The best time to relax while building character is now.

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